Fandom: World of Warcraft
Pairing: Garrosh Hellscream x Koltira Deathweaver [Romantic]
Rating: SFW
Content: Crack treated seriously, Jealousy, Accidentaly Flirting, Humour
Date written: 31st October 2021
Summary: It was stupid. It was completely and utterly stupid. He should not be feeling this way, for any reason at all.

Garrosh Hellscream, son of Grom, Warchief of the Horde, was jealous.

Author's notes: This was a writing piece I made for the yamyell (garrosh) discord server’s cracktober event, where each writer was randomly assigned a character to write with Garrosh. It could be a platonic relationship, a romantic one, a rivalry or even a familial relationship. I ended up with Koltira and Garrosh, and I decided to make it (kinda) romantic. Because this was written for cracktober, none of this is meant to be taken seriously and it’s all for fun! Also I feel like it progresses a bit fast but there was a 2000 word limit since we read them all out in a discord call, so I tried my best to make it work with those limitations lmao. But I hope you enjoy my little fic anyway :)

It was stupid. It was completely and utterly stupid. He should not be feeling this way, for any reason at all.

Garrosh Hellscream, son of Grom, Warchief of the Horde, was jealous.

No- scratch that- he was NOT jealous. Garrosh didn’t “do” jealousy. Jealousy was petty and stupid, and beneath a Hellscream.

But hearing the elven death knight constantly talking about his human “friend” and what a great guy he was made him want to puke. It was obnoxious. How could anyone of the Horde even consider a human to be a friend? Let alone flutter their eyelashes whenever speaking about them, or gazing into nothingness as they daydreamed about them.

Garrosh had to do something about it. It was behaviour unbecoming of any Horde member, and Garrosh had just about had it with hearing how Koltira and Thassarian had fought side by side in different battles. They were supposed to be travelling to the nearest Horde encampment, not talking about trivial things like friendship. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that Koltira liked the human.

He decided on a whim that if that was truly the case, then Garrosh had no time to waste. He was going to figure out a way to get Koltira to stop talking and thinking about the human, no matter what it cost.

The first thing that Garrosh tried was boasting about his own triumphs, battles and accomplishments. He tried not to boast too hard, because otherwise Koltira would know exactly what he was up to, but Garrosh thought that if he was the one speaking rather than the elf, he at least wouldn’t have to hear about that human constantly.

It worked, for a short period of time. But the moment that Garrosh started talking about a particular battle that’d happened in Northrend, it immediately reminded Koltira of a battle of his own, which of course included that damn human Thassarian. For an entire ten minutes, Garrosh had to listen as Koltira recalled every single minute detail of that battle, including the way that the human’s sword had “glistened in the moonlight”.

Garrosh was pretty sure Koltira was actually reciting poetry at this point. He considered falling off his wolf and allowing himself to roll down the nearest cliff like a sack of potatoes. It would certainly be less agonising. But he was no coward, and he was certainly not a sack of potatoes, either. He had to come up with something else. Anything to get the damn elf to change the subject.

As stupid as it may have seemed, it didn’t register in Garrosh’s mind that he could have just told Koltira to shut up and stop talking. For whatever reason, the Warchief had decided to do this the hard way. He never liked doing things the “easy” way unless it made sense, Garrosh didn’t like the idea of half-arsing anything. He liked the challenge... usually. This particular challenge he had imposed on himself, however, was proving to be much more frustrating than he’d anticipated.

Garrosh had stopped talking about battles and war, and had veered the conversation off to more...mundane subjects. He wasn’t the type of orc that enjoyed small talk, but he justified the small talk as getting to know the members of the Horde...especially this particular death knight. You know...just in case something went horribly wrong or all of the death knights suddenly went rogue or something.

Yeah, that was totally the reason. It wasn’t like he thought the echoe-y voice that was so distinct to death knights was unique or interesting or anything like that. No, that wasn’t it at all.

Garrosh asked Koltira if he liked it in Orgrimmar. He learned that apparently the undead didn’t do well in the heat. According to the elf, the high temperatures of Durotar contributed to the accelerated rotting of flesh, and any death knight or forsaken that spent an extended amount of time in Orgrimmar had to prepare their bodies with magic and solvents and all manner of things to prevent further rot. If they cared about that, of course.

It was oddly interesting. Garrosh wondered if there was a way to make all of the buildings in Orgrimmar cooler. He was sure there were frost mages or shaman that could probably pull it off, if there were enough of them working together.

He let his thoughts drift away as he went back to the conversation at hand. He was glad that their conversation hadn’t caused Koltira to bring up that human again, and he was almost happy to be having a conversation in which he wasn’t being scrutinised for every little thing he said or did. It was nice.

His mission wasn’t complete, though. One simple conversation without bringing up the human didn’t mean the elf wasn’t thinking about him. It didn’t mean that Koltira suddenly didn’t like Thassarian anymore, and Garrosh certainly didn’t think he could convince the elf to stop liking him. So he had to do something.

Maybe, Garrosh could try and get Koltira to like him more? It was certainly a more proactive plan than trying to get the death knight to shut up. It might even cause him to be more loyal to the Horde, as well. Elements knew he needed much more loyal Horde members than what he already had. It would be killing two birds with one stone, or however the human phrase went.

Truthfully, Garrosh didn’t know where to start. How was he supposed to get Koltira to like him, especially more than someone he already had history with? Garrosh was already having a hard time getting his own advisers to tolerate him, so he was already completely clueless on what to do.

Garrosh thought back to the times he’d seen other people interact with each other. He’d seen how other people attempted to get others to like them, and at the time he hadn’t really cared. If people liked him, they liked him. If they didn’t, they probably weren’t worth it in the first place. Now, though, he was calling up those faint memories, hoping to get an idea on what he could do.

Compliments and gifts were what he’d remembered the most out of all of his memories. He distinctly remembered some blood elves being gifted flowers by their friends. He wondered if that would work on Koltira?

There was only one way to find out.

Garrosh’s small group of followers had stopped to make camp for the night, allowing themselves and their mounts to rest. The Horde encampment they were travelling to was just five days away now, and it gave the Warchief plenty of time to make a good impression on the death night.

Morning came quickly, and Garrosh had made sure to wake up much earlier than everyone else. He needed to scour the area for flowers, so he could pick them and give them to Koltira, and he hadn’t a clue how long searching for flowers might take. He was unfamiliar with the plants in this area, but he guessed that flowers were common enough all over Azeroth that he shouldn’t have problems trying to find some.

He searched around the nearby forest until he finally found a bush covered in light purple flowers. They were a bit small, especially for his large hands, but he picked them gently, and attempted to arrange them in a way that he hoped looked nice.

He made his way back to the overnight camp they had made, and was glad to see that Koltira was awake. He held the flowers behind his back and walked up to the elf. Koltira looked up at him, a curious look on his face. “Something you need, Warchief?”

“These are for you.” Garrosh said, revealing the flowers and handing them over.

Koltira stared at him for what seemed like ages before he finally took the flowers. “I....thank you. These are...lovely.”

Garrosh felt smug, and went about his morning routine with vigour as he prepared a meal for himself, a smile on his face.

The high he felt in the morning continued throughout the day as he spent more time speaking with Koltira. The death knight had been acting differently ever since Garrosh had gifted him the flowers. He wasn’t sure exactly what had changed, but Garrosh was almost certain that Koltira was being more amicable towards him. It was a positive change, at least. It meant that his plan was working.

He still didn’t think it was enough though. He wondered if being a bit more bold and blunt towards Koltira would help. A compliment might work wonders. Everyone knew that Garrosh didn’t give out compliments on a whim. Compliments were earned, and it wasn’t easy to earn them either. Koltira would see that, surely. He would understand and he’d know that Garrosh meant what he said.

He ended up complimenting Koltira on the quality of his armour, telling him how well made it looked to be. Koltira was silent for a moment, and he almost looked confused, but a moment later he gave a compliment of his own, telling Garrosh that his muscles seemed to be all the armour he needed.

Garrosh was the flustered one, this time. He hadn’t been expecting a compliment back, but surprisingly, he didn’t seem to mind. It was nice. He quietly thanked Koltira, and they settled into a calm silence, riding along the road towards their destination.

As the days went by, Garrosh and Koltira seemed to gravitate towards each other more, becoming more calm and comfortable in each other’s presence. It was a natural progression of things, and Garrosh slowly stopped thinking about his self imposed mission whenever he spoke to Koltira. All he was thinking about now was how much he actually enjoyed Koltira’s presence. They got along, surprisingly, even though they were very different people.

Garrosh didn’t realise what he’d gotten himself into. One moment they were talking, and the next moment Koltira had not-so-subtly slipped his frighteningly cold hand into Garrosh’s large and warm one. It was like a spark of electricity, their opposite temperatures trying to balance each other out.

Garrosh definitely blushed. It seemed his attempts to get Koltira to like him had worked too well. Not that he was complaining, of course. After all, they got along rather well, so why not indulge himself? He gently enclosed his hand around Koltira’s, a silent acceptance of the situation. Garrosh tried to hide how flushed his face had gotten, but it didn’t really work. Koltira gave him a rare smirk, and Garrosh huffed.

Garrosh had long forgotten about the human, and he suspected that Koltira had, too.