Fandom: World of Warcraft
Pairing: Khadgar & Male Orc OC [Platonic]
Rating: Mature
Content: Character death, Past suicide ideation (character did not actually die by suicide), Preparation of a body for burial, Graphic description of a corpse, Chopping up a body
Date written: 26th March 2021
Summary: Grokkar dies. He is the only person he trusts to prepare his own body in a way that will prevent anyone from bringing him back to life.

So he does it himself, with a little help from Khadgar.

Author's notes: I'll admit that this is one of the most graphic things I've probably written in terms of gore. Please read the content warnings and make sure you're okay with all of that. Just keep in mind that my oc Grokkar is totally okay with what's going on, given the fact that it's him doing all this stuff to his own corpse.

It had been surprising, when he’d finally died.

Grokkar had already been dead for a very long time, perhaps almost ten years. But being undead was a very unorthodox way of being dead. He was technically dead, yet his body still moved, his mind still worked, and he could still talk, fight and kill.

He was dead, but not really. But he was. But he also definitely wasn't.

He’d thought about death a lot. It was impossible not to think about. He had died in battle during the war against the Scourge, and then his body had been raised from the dead to serve the Lich King soon after. His body had been fresh, and had been kept fresh by Northrend's frozen snow.

When his soul had been forced back into his frozen corpse, it had been the most painful thing he'd ever experienced. Mentally, physically and spiritually painful, all at once. Like his soul had been ripped apart and then carelessly stitched back together, molded into whatever shape the Lich King deemed fit, uncaring for the suffering it caused the orc.

Everything he’d done in his life, every interaction he had with another person, every single problem he’d had all circled back to the fact that he was dead. He was dead and cold and he didn't breath and sometimes he didn't even blink, either. His heart did not beat and his veins held no blood. There was not much in his body besides useless internal organs that had (mostly) remained intact and a little bit of frost. He had hurt and killed under the Lich King’s grasp, and suffered the consequences when he returned to Orgrimmar- shunned and hated and despised, even if he could still fight for the Horde.

He spent the next ten years repenting, and doing everything in his power to ensure that what had happened to him never happened to anyone else ever again.

He’d often thought about wanting to die. About being truly dead, not whatever half-death he’d been experiencing. He wanted peace. He wanted to be free from this world. He wanted to feel something other than the cold.

But he knew that if he died, his ancestors would not welcome him with open arms. He would be shunned from them; his undead curse was a blight on his soul, and he knew his ancestors would see that. It had corrupted every last part of him, and as each day went by, things only became worse within his blackened and twisted soul.

He knew that if he died, he'd likely have no control over what happened to his body. Someone could easily steal away his corpse and try to reanimate him or bring him back from the dead, or maybe even trap his soul somehow....

Despite the awful thoughts that went on inside his head, he stubbornly remained alive. For a long ten years.

So he was surprised when he finally kicked the bucket. Not at the fact that he was dead, but because he was currently staring at his own lifeless corpse on the ground. His soul was completely detached from his body for possibly the first time since his first death....and all he really felt was a bit of confusion. He was glad that he had died in battle, but he had been alone when he'd died. It was a one on one fight with another orc who had gone rogue from the rest of the Death Knights in the Ebon Blade- a bunch of bullshit that Grokkar couldn't care about anymore now that he was truly, actually dead.

All that Grokkar’s spirit could do now was drag his own body back home.

He eventually made it back to the cold, windy mountain that he lived on, and had dragged his body inside the dark cave that he'd decorated and carved a home out of. He lay his body on a stone table that was in the middle of one of the many rooms inside his cave. It usually served as a place for him to work on other Death Knights, or even himself, whenever there was something physically wrong. He stripped his own body of it's armour and put it aside.

Now, it was time for the preparations.

Grokkar had been thankful that he was still able to interact with the physical, mortal realm as a spirit. He’d known for a long time that his spirit would likely not be capable of moving on from the world of the living when he died, and he was glad that his assumptions had been correct. He did not trust anyone else to prepare his body in the way he desired.

He had barely put the flesh-carving knife to the skin of his own body before Khadgar had teleported into his home with a bright flash.

“Grokkar, I have news for yo-”

The Archmage stopped completely in his tracks, and he seemed to forget how to speak.

It must’ve looked completely absurd to the human, seeing Grokkar’s spirit taking a knife to his naked dead body. It was probably the worst way to find out that someone you cared about was dead. Or, well.... deader than usual.

“Oh, by the Light Grokkar...what happened? And...what..are you doing?” Khadgar whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loudly, the orc’s spirit might disappear.

Grokkar sighed.

“Please do not be alarmed, Khadgar. I died in battle a couple of hours ago. I’ve decided against bringing myself back from the dead, and I am preparing my body.”

Khadar stared at him for a long time, trying to process everything.

“So...that’s it, then?” The human said after a while of contemplation.

“Yes...I’m afraid so. I do not wish to tamper with necromantic magic or go against the laws of nature any longer. I died in battle, and that’s as honourable a death as I am ever going to get. I simply wish for myself to be properly dead, and be dead forever more. I hope that you will understand.”

Khadgar was quiet for a few moments, before he walked up to the stone table where Grokkar’s body lay. The mage looked over the body, in all it’s nakedness. The tattoos no longer glowed, and the scars all over Grokkar’s body seemed more prominent, now that the tattoos weren’t so bright and gleaming.

“I...understand, Grokkar. Your existence in this world was against your will, and I cannot imagine what that was like. I’ll just...miss you, that’s all.”

“You needn’t worry about not seeing me anymore, Khadgar. Everything that happened in my undeath was...traumatic, to say the least. It is unlikely that I will be able to move on from it. I still feel like there is much that I must do on Azeroth, and thus my spirit will remain.”

“Oh...I see..” Khadgar was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I do hope that in some way...you manage to find peace in your soul.... true peace.”

“...As do I.”

It was quiet for a moment longer, and Khadgar’s body went still beside Grokkar’s spirit. He was watching him.

“You won’t want to see this, Khadgar. I will be removing the flesh from my bones. It will be disturbing for you to witness.”

“Oh...I think I can handle a bit of flesh carving. But...might I ask why you’ll be removing your flesh?”

Grokkar hummed in thought as he started removing bits of flesh from his arms with the knife. “Most would assume that if you wanted to prevent a necromancer from bringing a body back to life that you should simply burn it.” He said, throwing the flesh into a large container that was on the floor behind him.

“That is a good idea if you want to prevent a regular necromancer from doing so, but Death Knights and the Lich King especially are not regular necromancers. Burning a body does not get rid of the bones, only the flesh- and only some of it. A skeleton can still be raised from the dead, and if not, the bones can still be used in powerful spells, which bind those bones to the caster.” More flesh was removed, and beside him, Khadgar looked like he was turning a bit green. The mage still remained beside him, however.

“I don't want anything of the sort to happen to my body. I already experienced being brought back from the dead once, and I refuse for it to happen again, so I will be completely erasing my body from existence altogether. My flesh will be completely dissolved in acid, and all of my bones will be crushed and ground into a fine power, which shall be scattered to the wind.” He emphasised his words with slightly more aggressive slashes on his body.

“After that’s done, I’ll have to destroy my weapon. It’s quite powerful, and I don’t want it to be misused by anyone else. My armour will be the only thing that shall remain. The only thing that proved my own existence in this world.”

“Besides your spirit still roaming Azeroth?”

Grokkar chuckled at that. “Yes, besides that.”

A few hours had gone by, and the majority of the flesh had been removed from Grokkar’s bones. Khadgar had at some point decided to help, despite how seemingly grossed out he was at the beginning. He’d said that he wanted to help, and that despite how...gruesome it all seemed, he understood that this was what Grokkar wanted. He certainly couldn’t blame the now-spirit for feeling that way. It was certainly completely unlike how most Orcish burials usually went, but if it ensured that Grokkar would never be raised from the dead...then so be it.

Khadgar had left the face and head for Grokkar to deal with. Removing the flesh from that part of Grokkar’s body had to be the most disturbing and unsettling part of the entire ordeal. He’d refused to look, focusing on removing the internal organs, instead. He was surprised to see that despite not having been used in almost 10 years, that his organs were still intact and in pretty good condition...all things considered.

When all the flesh was removed, Khadgar was surprised at the amount of blood there hadn’t been. Of course, he knew that Grokkar’s body had been technically dead for years before today, but it was still so...odd to him. It had been mostly cold flesh. Whether it was because Grokkar had to drag it up a cold, snowy mountain or just because that was what Grokkar’s body had been like the entire time he'd been in it, he wasn’t sure. But he couldn’t imagine having to inhabit a body that was so cold and lifeless. He wondered if Grokkar was at all relieved to be rid of it.

Khadgar supposed it didn’t matter much, anymore.

Grokkar went over to the multiple cauldrons that had been enchanted- courtesy of Khadgar- to ensure that the acid would not eat through the steel, and started dumping his flesh into them. The acid within the cauldron started sizzling immediately.

“I regret that we could not do this outside, but if I did I’m afraid the acid might freeze. The smell will be abysmal and the fumes will not be good for you, Khadgar. I suggest leaving and coming back in a week. Unless of course you want to inhale liquefied flesh.” He said, turning to look at the mage.

“Ah, not to worry. I’ve a few tricks up my sleeve.” Khadgar replied, and cast a dome over the cauldrons. “That should prevent any fumes and other unfortunate smells from reaching outside of the dome.”

“Are you saying that even as a spirit I stink of rot?”

Khadgar barked out a laugh. “No...no, not at all, Grokkar.”

Grokkar gave a quiet chuckle of his own before returning to the table, where his skeleton lay. He looked over the bones, still covered in some bits of flesh and the slightest amount of blood. He considered the next course of action.

“I will have to remove the top of the skull so I can remove the brain. After that it’ll be a long, arduous task on cleaning the bones until there is no meat or tendons clinging to them. We’ll then have to let the bones dry out completely before they can be crushed and ground down into powder. I’ll also have to saw some of the bones in half to remove the bone marrow. I don’t want that interfering with the grinding and making the powder wet.”

Khadgar listened as Grokkar spoke mostly to himself about what needed to be done and when, but kept a mental note of everything. “Do you want to start the cleaning process now?” He asked. Grokkar nodded. “Only if you want to. Feel free to rest, if you need to. I personally have no reason to stop.”

Khadgar smiled. “I will continue until your bones are so clean that they sparkle.”

“....Please don’t let them sparkle.”

They both laughed.

A few days had gone by since Grokkar had started preparing his body, and his flesh had already been completely dissolved into the acid. He would’ve tossed the bones in there, too, but he’d unfortunately not had enough acid to work with. It was the reason he had decided to crush and grind the bones in the first place.

He and Khadgar had finished cleaning all of his bones the day after he’d died. They’d removed all the bone marrow, removed his brain, and after Khadgar had inspected it curiously, both it and the bone marrow were tossed into the cauldron’s of acid, where the rest of his flesh had been dissolving. They’d then scrubbed clean all of the blood and tiny bits of flesh that had been missed the first time around, until they were completely devoid of any and all grime, blood and gore.

They’d let the bones dry completely, before bringing out the mortar and pestles. And a big hammer.

It had taken weeks, if he was going to be honest. Tough, orcish bones were not made to be ground by mortar and pestle. Grinding down bones into a powder was usually much easier for smaller bones- bones from small animals, whose bodies were fragile and weak. Grokkar had to use one of the battle hammer’s he’d kept as a souvenir from some far away place to smash the bones into smaller pieces which could be more easily ground.

There’d been a lot of smashing, and a lot of grinding, and none of it had been particularly fun. Grokkar was thankful he had Khadgar’s help. If not for the human, he’d certainly be at for a lot longer than just a few weeks.

He was glad to have Khadgar’s company. Grokkar had been completely prepared to do this all on his own, but he was relieved that he didn’t have to. Hearing Khadgar talk about the breakthroughs he was making, telling him about the gossip that was circling around that the Archmage had managed to gather, and just listening to him speak helped to make the arduous task a lot less boring.

He’d not spoken a single word about his death in all that time to anyone, however. Grokkar didn’t want to tell anyone until his body was completely gone. He’d wanted desperately to tell all of the people in his undeath that he was now truly dead, but had refrained from doing so. If any Death Knight caught wind of his demise, they might try to bring him back. He’d had enough of Death Knights mucking around with his body and soul, so he’d asked Khadgar to put up protective wards in his cave to prevent anyone from teleporting into it, and Khadgar had remained the only person who knew that he was dead- besides the man who had killed him, who was very unlikely to say anything to anyone about it, due to being an outcast.

So when all of his bones had been ground to a fine powder, he was eager to spread them as far and wide as possible. Khadgar helped, teleporting them to multiple different locations all over Azeroth, where they would grab a pinch or two of bone powder and sprinkle it into the air, where the wind would pick it up and carry it forth to somewhere unknown.

When there was no bone powder left, Grokkar could almost feel his soul get lighter. He felt as though if got any lighter, he might’ve just floated away. It was a nice feeling. He couldn’t wait to tell his friends that he was dead.

“I feel much better, now. Almost...happy.”

Khadgar gave him a soft smile. “I’m glad, Grokkar. You deserve it, after all you’ve been through.”

“Yes...I do. And...thank you..for helping. You don’t know how much it means to me.” He replied, giving a rare smile of his own.

“After all the help you’ve given me to help defeat the Legion, and everything else you’ve done to help others in your life, it is only fair that I help you in your death.”

Grokkar nodded in agreement, and stood there in silence with Khadgar for a long time, appreciating each other’s company.

It was not the end. Perhaps for his physical body...but not his soul.

He still had much to do.